ettäs kehtaavat!

[TDM]

löysin eräältä keskustelu palstalta tämmöisen anti-suomi jutun ja olen hiukkasen närkästynyt:

Finland sucks!

It can't have escaped anyone's notice that the net is crawling with Finns. Despite the fact that their total population is laughably small, at any given time around 60% of people online anywhere turn out to be Finnish. Even if you seek refuge on forums entirely dedicated to ancient mongolian skin complaints, at some point a Janni or Tommi or Aaasol will show up and be irritatingly chirpy.

Sinister, isn't it? Fortunately my army of gimp researchers are on the case and are now ready to reveal the TRUTH about evil, evil Finland. Here we go....

1- The Winter War. What the hell happened there? When Joe Stalin's T-34's rolled into central Europe the Wehrmacht and Waffen-SS screamed like girls and ran away. However all it took was a few dozen of Santa's little helpers lobbing snowballs and the Russkis bottled out in Finland. What really happened? Is the truth too horrible to reveal.

2- Linux. Open-source coding meant that the entire structure of Western capitalism was under threat. Fortunately all that happened was that a few dozen ubergeeks experienced immediate and uncontrollable climax while the rest of the world yawned and loaded up Windows. Try harder, evil Finns.

3- Anyway, I've heard that Linus Torsvald smells of chisels.

4- When Tolkien wanted to create a people who were inhuman, pointy-eared and as camp as Butlins, whose language did he base their speech on? Yup- you guessed it.

5- Mobile phones. Utterly dominated by those skulking trolls between Sweden and Russia. Their phones get smaller every day- ideal for those spindly elven fingers, but damning the rest of humanity to cordless communication serfdom. Do you think you're going to get away with it?

6- It's an established fact that if you want to be a great distance runner you have to come from a hot country. So where do Paavo Nurmi and Lasse Viren come in? I can now reveal that their "training" regime consisted of them having raw chillies stuffed up their bums and having starving packs of wild dogs unleashed on them. It won them loads of gold medals but at what cost, Finland? At what cost?

7- Rally driving is totally dominated by Finns. This is because Finland's national sport involves using high-powered 4-wheel drive cars to run over elks. The record is held by Hannu Mikkola who successfully ran over 24 inside 2 minutes. He would have got more but his wheels got jammed by bits of snapped-off antler and leg.

8- Norway is famous for it's fjords. These are made by Finns who sneak across at night and steal bits of the coastline, taking it back to Finland to make small hills. At the current rate of theft, by 2500 AD Norway will be only 200 metres wide.

9- Take a look at a map of Finland. Go on, take a look. Absolutely millions of lakes. That can't be right.

10- It's believed that the preponderance of lakes in Finland is due to them being stolen from other countries by Finns, along with their partners in lake-crime, Canada.

11- Anyway, what do you get in lakes? Abandoned shopping trollies, spindly things with chewing mouth-parts, and bodies. Add it up.

12- Santa Claus. Finland has been hailed as the home of Santa Claus since the 20th century. During that time, children's toys have displayed rising levels of dead spiders, razor blades and grit.

13- Finland's national dish is an elk scrotum fried in batter.

14- The last Suomithreadi contained detailed instructions on how to make home-brewed Rohypnol, as well as an incantation for summoning Satan.

15- Finns attract sharks. I have no figures to back this up.

16- Derby County FC. The reason for Georgi Kinkladze's recent poor form is that, in their last match agaist Liverpool, he was beaten to death with his own leg while the referee's back was turned. The culprit was Sami Hyppia. A Finn.

17- Where's ottok? What have you done with him?

18- If all the world's Finns were laid end to end they'd cause a really nasty traffic jam.

ja itse pistin tämmöistä perään:

as a Finnish man i do not like such speech were it not put here as a joke. let's begin undoing this fellows theories.

1. winter war an continual war are legacies of Finland like omaha beach is to yankees, and for exactly same reasons, opponents underestimated us. guerilla tactics are still the essential part of Finlands military ground troop strategies where as russians and you guys (americans) rely more on masses to beat your foes with raw power and zero brains. it was the finns who invented the so called "motti" tactic where we attack and destroy a convoy by destroying the first car and last creating a trap with no way out and pick them off one by one. we had less men, ammo, vechiles, guns, you name it but we drove them back beckause 1 finn equals to 10 russians and nazies messed their pants when stalins troops came there fore 1 russian equals 5 nazis and yankees only barely beat nazis back so 1 yankee equals 2 nazis. so calculate this 10x5x2=100. 1 finn equlas 100 yankees. we are few but we are proud and the best, goddammit! and as you saw that is Finnish pariotism. evidence on this can be found from an old finnish movie "tuntematon sotilas" litterally translates unknown soldier. shown in Finland every indipendece day 6. dec

2. not every one likes linux i for instance prefer windows. even though it is popular it's not absolute. to me it's absolete.

3. whatev

4. actually he based Elven language in Finnish and Swedish.

5. Nokia rulez

6. you guys are just plain bitter. but paavo nurmi is already dead (i think) and i don't know jack about Lasse Virens fate because im not really into sports. Finland is a cold country not a hot one. ditance runners come from Africa.

7. thank you. no really im thanking you. are we really dominating rally? all i hear every now and then is something about Colin McRae or Keke Rosberg. btw driving at elks, mooses and deers is dangerous so don't be a jackass and don't do it at home!

8.wot the hell are you talking about?

9. approximately 500 000 lakes. they're all small and shallow though. just like you.

10. wot? aww, shit. got caught. ;

11. we get fish and we get to swim in fresh water. and we sell tons of it to arab countries. and make a fortune. u know it really is nice when u can actually drink tap water. the city i live in Lahti (translates to bay) has the cleanes tap water in the world. ya that's right. in the farkan forld.

12. that would be because Santa brings bad things to bad children. and as we all know bad children live in usa. naughty kids like George W. Bush.

13. actually the most traditional foods finns can think of are meatballs and mashpotatoes, peasoup and Karjalan paisti (resembles meatsoup without veggies but is a sauce to go with potatoes)

14. Satanists (and Satans) belong to america. but being the allmighty international country of satan it has infected our innocent Finland along with several other countries. and Finland is known as a booze country there's a joke about a Finnish manliness test which is the drink a bottle of Vodka, screw a woman and wrestle a bear. and the finn is confused after drinking the vodka in 5 sec:"how was it with the woman and bear again?"

15. we don't attract sharks, we attack sharks. that's why there are no sharks in Finnlands bay.

16. wow. go Sami!

17. who?

18. yup. and if all the world's americans were laid end to end the jammed finns would have a multicolor carpet.

now the first step in being cured is to admit. you all know, im certain, that finns are a superior race. now all you have to do is to admit that.

[Jollu13]

Onhan toi nyt mun mielestäni tyhmää tuomita kaikki suomalaiset tuskin tuntee yhtäkään!Mutta mielestäni jokaisella on mielipiteensä ja hänen mielipiteensä on että suomalaiset ovat syvältä ja poikittain. Topic on turha, miksi tehdä yhden mielipiteestä topicci? No se on nyt vain mielipiteeni.

[TDM]

siksi ystävä hyvä että on hyvä jakaa tietoja niitä koskeville. milestäni kaikilla tämän foorumin käyttäjillä on oikeus tietää tuollaisesta mielipiteestä. se on ihan sama miten siihen reagoidaan, kunhan tietävät.

[Yozora]

*tyrskii*
Heko. Minusta tuo oli lähinnä hemmetin huvittavaa.

[purplecow]

Kyseinen teksti, joka sivumennen sanoen on erittäin vanha juttu, ei todellakaan ole negatiiviseen sävyyn kirjoitettu. Itse otin sen lähinnä kohteliaisuutena.
Jotkut eivät vain edelleenkään tajua mitä se sarkasmi on.

[Freyr]

Sarkasmillahan tuo on kirjoitettu ihan selvästi
Minä itseasiassa naureskelin tuota lukiessani, toisaalta vastaukset niihin antoi lisänaurua ja veikkaan että antaa vielä enemmän nille keille sinä tuon kirjoitit Way to go Finns!

[Reefer]

Hehe, hauskaa tekstiä.

[TDM]

kiitos freyr, se tässä oli oikeastaan tarkoitus. kun pääsin siihen kohtaan että suomen kansallis ruoka on hirvien kivespussit niin kyllä se viimonenki ajatus todellisesta haukkumisesta karisi pois. ja purplecow, ole vähän tarkkaavaisempi ja lue vastaukseni eka rivi uudestaan.

[purplecow]

<!--QuoteBegin-TDM+Jul 22 2004, 03:27 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (TDM @ Jul 22 2004, 03:27 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> kiitos freyr, se tässä oli oikeastaan tarkoitus. kun pääsin siihen kohtaan että suomen kansallis ruoka on hirvien kivespussit niin kyllä se viimonenki ajatus todellisesta haukkumisesta karisi pois. ja purplecow, ole vähän tarkkaavaisempi ja lue vastaukseni eka rivi uudestaan. [/quote]
Onnistuinpa hyppäämään kokonaan tuon rivin ylitse, mutta messun aloituksen sävy ei antanut aihetta odottaa jotain yllättävää.
Rikkonainen englanti sikseen, en kykene ymmärtämään miksi koit vastaamisen aiheelliseksi. Vaan teehän miten lystäät.

[TDM]

aivan. näin aionkin tehdä o-nushi. ja oli aivan pakko vastata kun kyseessä oli maanmiehet ja mä ja tilaisuus heittää läppää. mitä rikkonaiseen englantiin tulee muutama kirjain puuttuu välistä, pilkku virheitä, ylimääräisten joulutoivotusten puute olin kirjoittanut hieman nopeasti enkä lukenut sitä läpi ennen lähetystä joten vain pahimmat puuttuu. btw innostuin vähän selostamaan jatkosotaa ja talvisotaa. B)

[Hamsteri]

Hienoa

[frostious]

heko. xD jos joku tuon ottaa tosissaan niin huhhuh. meikäläistä lähinnä nauratti, ei todellakaan mikään vakavissaan kirjoitettu teksti - jos kirjoittaja olisi oikeasti halunnut haukkua suomea niin olisi hän kyllä vaivautunut ottamaan asioista selvää. minua varsinkin huvitti syytös järvien varastamisesta. xD
vastausta tuohon postiin en edes uskaltanut lukea, noin kauhiasta englannista saa jätkä vain lisää vettä myllyyn. ei millään pahalla, mutta...auts. >_O

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>...is it just me, vai onko TDM tehnyt hirveästi tällaisia ihan täysin aivottomia threadeja? >_> en tiedä muista, mutta minua rupeaa jo vähän häiritsemään.</span>

[.Yoshimi.]

No musta toi oli tosi törkeesti kirjotettu! Olkoon sarkastista tai whatever, but I still dont like it !!

[Ear]

No toi kyllä nauratti ja oli aivan selvällä sarkasmilla kirjoitettu. Hyvä kirjoittaja!

[TDM]

no prob, frositous. mä tiedän et se on aika karmeeta kuten aiemmin sanoin. mutta oon ollu täl foorumil 3 päivää. hyvä jos oon tehny 2 threadia. en voi olla varma mut molemmat niist on aivottomia. poistakoot molemmat jos haluavat. itse asiassa mä pyydän kiko-chania poistamaan sen chap 220 threadin. tää on ainoa ei-niin-aivoton threadi. mut tää on silti pahasti offtopic. he